


Hidden Amongst the Three of Spades (Are Broken Hearts)

by seohoverse



Series: House of Cards [2]
Category: ONEUS (Band)
Genre: A bit too much mutual pining, Fluff, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, Hwanwoong and Young Jo just want to help :(, M/M, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, the maknaes are kind of chaotic, this got out of hand a bit too quickly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-07
Updated: 2020-07-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:21:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25132318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seohoverse/pseuds/seohoverse
Summary: Seoho finally finds the courage to come clean to Geonhak, but things quickly go downhill when certain events on the rooftop of RBW Entertainment lead to misunderstandings that Geonhak isn't sure how to mend.
Relationships: Kim Geonhak | Leedo/Lee Seoho
Series: House of Cards [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1800469
Comments: 12
Kudos: 90





	Hidden Amongst the Three of Spades (Are Broken Hearts)

**Author's Note:**

> For those who didn't read part one yet, I strongly encourage you to read that first because it is kind of obligated for you to understand what's happening.
> 
> So I'm back with part two :)) Really, I wanted this to be short and sweet—possibly a little shorter than part one. I thought it would be a miracle if part two was around the same length as the first part. But then I came up with the idea of their vacation and things got a little too out of hand for me. But I hope you guys enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

When Seoho finally told Geonhak what he had been bottling up, it had been on the roof of RBW Entertainment.

It was well over two weeks after that night in Seoho's room, where Geonhak had finally confronted Seoho and he'd opened up to him. Though it hadn't been much, he was able to let Seoho know he had someone to trust, someone who would always be his pillar.

Since then, Geonhak stuck by Seoho's side until they were practically joined at the hip, refusing to let him out of his sight in case something happened to him. He admitted he was being paranoid, but he couldn't help but worry more and more about Seoho. Knowing Seoho was well within his eyesight reassured him.

At their last fan sign meeting, a few days before promotions ended, a To Moon who came up to Geonhak to have her album signed had noticed it. Geonhak didn't think anyone would pick up on it, but her eyes were quick, and she caught the way Geonhak moved his chair closer to Seoho's, who was sitting right next to him, adorable smile plastered on his face as a fan talked enthusiastically to him. Even though Geonhak caught her staring, he hoped she wouldn't question why Geonhak seemed to be glued to Seoho.

However, luck wasn't on his side that day, and later, she had pulled her mask down and stood up from her seat in the crowd, yelling, "Geonhak! Is it just me, or have you been sticking real close to Seoho all day?" From their fans, there were a series of whistles and catcalls and hysterical giggling.

Keonhee, being the traitor that he was, snickered along with them, barely managing to cover it with his hand, though Geonhak was too flustered to even curse Keonhee out for it. He just sat there, body frozen in place with the microphone hovering a few inches away from his lips. To his right, Seoho's ears were beet red and he picked at the dirt under his nails.

In the end, Geonhak cleared his throat and said, "Of course, Seoho and I are close. What else would you expect?" It was supposed to be taken lightly, meant only in the form of a joke, but Geonhak wondered if maybe he should've worded it differently when there were more cheers, the loudest cheer coming from Keonhee who seemed to be enjoying his embarrassment way too much.

The moment their promotions came to a close, the members had a more leisure time breathing, especially since their schedules were no longer as packed. To celebrate the termination of their promotions, they all gathered in the living room with the thought of having a movie night. It was the least they could do before their schedule was, once again, filled to the brim with interviews and performances and dragged them back down.

It was 10 PM when they finally pulled on their pyjamas and collapsed on the couch and floor of the living room with bowls full of buttered popcorn. Switching to the Netflix channel, Hwanwoong said, "Okay, what movie?"

"Mulan!"

"Up!"

"Why Disney?"

"Why _wouldn't_ we watch Disney?"

"Why not IT or The Nun?"

"Yes, because Keonhee didn't want to sleep tonight, anyway."

"What's wrong with horror movies?"

"Parasite is a good movie."

"Or what about Avengers: Endgame? We haven't watched it yet."

"They're going to be discussing this for a while, won't they?" Geonhak laughed lightheartedly, turning to Seoho who was seated next to him on the couch, legs pulled up to his chest. Contrary to the other members, Seoho wasn't clad in his pyjamas, but in his black sweatpants and Geonhak's black hoodie. He'd claimed he had nothing else to wear, but really, he'd found it lying in his room and it smelled just like Geonhak—of his strawberry body wash and the trace of scent that Seoho couldn't quite describe, but it was just so _Geonhak_.

Though Geonhak did complain about it, he couldn't find it in himself to be gravely irked. Seoho looked adorable in his hoodie, so dainty and delicate, notably when the sleeves of the hoodie fell over his petite hands, swallowing them completely. And Geonhak didn't miss the way Seoho curled into the hoodie, burying his nose in the collar of it in seek of warmth and solace, and his heart completely melted in adoration. His fingers itched to run through Seoho's curly locks, similar to that night in Seoho's room, on his bed, when Seoho had buried his face in his neck and wept to his heart's desire. But Geonhak was, once again, afraid of overstepping any boundaries that he might not be allowed to cross.

In the end, the members finally settled on watching Parasite because it turned out none of them had watched it since its release. As the movie's opening began, Geonhak turned to Seoho, who was taut in his spot. "Are you okay?" he asked.

Seoho did that again—startling in his spot whenever someone addressed him. Geonhak still had yet to figure out how to stop him from doing that. The look in Seoho's eyes was distant when he shifted to Geonhak. "W-What? Oh, yeah, I'm okay."

Geonhak sighed and reached for Seoho's hand, but not before throwing a glance at the other members to ensure they weren't looking their way. "Hyung, we've been over this, remember? I told you to stop doing that. You can trust me."

Seoho sucked in a breath, willing himself to relax, and he found himself whispering to himself that it was okay. It was just Geonhak. He thought he'd be less uptight after that night with Geonhak, but he was still having difficulty completely relaxing and letting his trust and fondness towards Geonhak take the reins. "Right, I'm sorry. I just..."

It was a work in progress, Geonhak concluded. He still had no idea what it was that was hurting Seoho so much, but he was prepared to fight by his side. In the house of cards Seoho had built himself into, Geonhak wanted to tear down the walls designed with spades and build it back up with the ace of hearts for him.

Squeezing Seoho's fingers, Geonhak murmured, "Don't be. You don't have anything to be sorry for."

Seoho found himself questioning just what he'd ever done in his life to be blessed with the angel that was Kim Geonhak but he didn't spend too long dwelling on that. Geonhak was here with him and had already wormed his way into his heart. In such a small space, he'd wriggled in, jostling everything aside and cramming himself in a corner, taking up so much space until there was no room for anything else to fit in Seoho's heart, and before he knew it, Geonhak had become the sole occupant to his heart.

The movie continued rolling on, and the members' greedy hands dug into the bowls of popcorn, stuffing their faces full and slurping on their drinks that sat on the edges of the table. They were only approximately twenty minutes into the movie, but the bowls were almost empty.

Despite it not being that late, Seoho's eyelids felt like they were weighed down by lead, which caused them to droop. Exhaustion settled into his bones, the whisper of sleep and the promise of a world where Seoho could escape himself dragged him down. Just then, Geonhak leaned over and whispered, "If you get tired, just lean your head on my shoulder."

At this point, Seoho was convinced Geonhak could read his mind, or maybe he was making his fatigue too apparent. Either way, Geonhak's invitation was all too inviting. The part of him that continued to remain doubtful held him back, trying to secure steel gates around his palace before anyone made their way in. 

But Geonhak wanted to be there for him—begged him to keep the gates open, at least for him. Maybe Seoho wasn't ready to tear the gates down yet, but he was nearly ready to leave them wide open for Geonhak who'd been waiting at the entrance.

The inconspicuous forces that tied him to Geonhak kept tugging Seoho in the former's direction, and finally, Seoho gave in. His heavy body was an anchor, grounding him, and his fatigue compelled him to fall into Geonhak's side, head resting on his shoulder. In his temporary shock, Geonhak froze before he felt the edges of a smile forming on his lips, and he wrapped a hand around Seoho's shoulders, pulling him closer into his side. He felt Seoho stiffen before he eventually sagged into him completely.

To their dismay, Hwanwoong, who had taken his eyes off the screen, caught them snuggled up into each other's side on the couch. Holding back a snicker, he leaned over to Keonhee, who sat on his left, and mumbled, "Look at those two, cuddling on the couch."

Unlike Hwanwoong, Keonhee didn't bother holding back his snicker, and over the movie, he yelled, "Are you two dating or something?" Leave it to Keonhee to expose them, and soon, all the members were turning in their direction.

With all eyes on him—on them—there was the disturbing crawling under Seoho's skin that willed him to hide away from the eyes that burned through him, tearing him down and baring his vulnerability for them all to see. He could no longer withstand too many eyes on him at once. If they looked closer, maybe they would be able to pick apart at Seoho's seal, and they would eventually pry open his locked chest.

Geonhak felt Seoho go tense against his side, and it pinched his heart, knowing he feared the attention. Seoho tried to pull away from him, but he tightened his grip on his shoulder, pulling him farther into his side. "It's cold in the dorm. Mind your own business and watch the movie."

Just as Geonhak looked down to make sure Seoho was okay, the latter tilted his head up and smiled gratefully at him. It wasn't the biggest smile and nothing compared to the way he used to smile, but despite its size, it was genuine, and Geonhak caught the slightest twinkle in Seoho's eyes. It wasn't much, but it was something, and that was all that mattered. He felt Seoho mumble a small, "Thank you," against his shoulder, and Geonhak couldn't stop a proud smile from stretching across his face.

Thirty minutes later, and the weight of Seoho's head on his shoulder gradually increased. Chancing a glance down at Seoho, Geonhak found his eyelids sealed shut, his jaw was slack and his chest rose and fell consistently with every sharp inhale and soft exhale. His heart clenched at the endearing sight, and he itched to plant a kiss on the crown of Seoho's head. He stopped himself, though.

Before they knew it, one movie blurred into two, and somewhere along the way, they'd all fallen asleep, snoozing against one another with the movie blaring in the background.

When Geonhak awoke, the clock on the wall read 2:37 AM. Hwanwoong was knocked out on the couch with Dongju sleeping by his feet. Keonhee had his head resting on Dongju's legs and Young Jo was asleep closest to the screen of the TV, his head resting on a penguin plushie. The TV continued to blare in front of them, the light of the screen dancing across their faces. One of the popcorn bowls was knocked over onto the floor. Luckily, it was empty.

That was when Geonhak noted the lack of weight on his shoulder, and his arm was no longer wrapped around a body.

Seoho wasn't next to him.

Blinking his bleary eyes and rubbing the remaining sleep out of them, Geonhak scanned the living room, but Seoho wasn't there. All traces of sleep left him as panic overtook it, heightening every second that ticked by. He dashed to Seoho's bedroom, but the room was unoccupied. The lights of the bathroom were off as well.

Just as he was about to whip out his phone and call him, though, Hwanwoong stirred in his spot, groaning as he peeled one eye open. Spotting Geonhak's perturbed state, he mumbled, "Are you looking for Seoho hyung? He said he would be going to the roof for a bit of fresh air."

Why Seoho would go there—Geonhak didn't know, but he didn't question it and thanked Hwanwoong, who waved him away before plopping back down and dozing off again.

Just as Hwanwoong had stated, when Geonhak raced up the stairs of the building and shoved the door to the roof open, he found Seoho on the rooftop of the RBW Entertainment building, tucked into a corner on a bench as he gazed up at the stars sprinkled across the black cloak of the night that was the sky. It was a full moon that night, and the clear sphere in the sky was not hidden behind grey clouds. Seoho's milky skin glowed, bathing in the moonlight. He was slouched, the light of the white moon reflecting in his eyes, and there was a sense of longing in his gaze as he stared off into the distance, lost in thought.

Upon seeing him, the agonizing knot in Geonhak's chest loosened and he let out a relieved breath. When he took a seat next to Seoho on the bench, the latter didn't seem startled, as if he knew they'd meet sooner or later on the roof. Instead, he kept gazing at the stars.

"The stars are pretty tonight, aren't they?" Seoho suddenly said.

"Yeah, they are." But contrary to what Geonhak said, his eyes weren't observing the stars. Instead, he gazed upon his hyung, who sat beside him, capturing this moment to memory—capturing Seoho's beauty to memory.

Seoho's eyes continued to linger on the stars. "The stars are always so peaceful. They don't need to fret over others' thoughts on them, and everyone adores them—thinks they're beautiful. Even with all these eyes on them at night, there is no pressure on them. They just continue shining brightly for us without a care in the world."

Geonhak wholeheartedly understood where Seoho was coming from. For humans, they were tied down by the pressure of expectations from all of those around them, including themselves. Because of that, they were always conflicted and closed off from the world.

Where Seoho was going with this—it didn't sink in for Geonhak until Seoho started talking again. "Geonhak, do you ever feel depersonalized? Like everything around you, including yourself, feels unreal. Nothing is wrong with your life or _was_ wrong until you woke up one morning, and everything felt wrong. You took one look at yourself one day in the mirror and didn't recognize yourself anymore. Living in your body, a body that you've been in ever since you were born, suddenly felt uncomfortable, but you had no way out of it."

Seoho had always been playful amongst their group, teasing and bright, always smiling despite trying to convince them that he had a cold personality. During the years they knew each other, they'd argued—of course they did—but never had Seoho willingly poured his heart out to Geonhak. Because he was a locked chest, sealed with no way of unlocking it unless someone discovered the key.

So why did it feel like Seoho was suddenly revealing something deeply buried in his locked chest? "Hyung, what are you talking about?"

Seoho's eyes dropped from the stars and he turned his head to face Geonhak. Tears were brimming in his eyes. "At first, I thought it was just my weight gain. Maybe if I lost a bit of weight, I'd feel better. So I tried to stop eating. I cut down on as much as I could. I ate one apple a day, or a single toast for breakfast. But that didn't work as well as I'd hoped. My own body no longer feels comfortable to me, so I have no other choice but to hide it from the eyes of everyone, including myself." He then sighed before gazing back up at the millions of twinkling stars. "I wish I could be the stars—peaceful with no worries despite the countless eyes on me. But I can't even do that anymore. The fewest pairs of eyes on me is enough to drive me farther into the cave I hoarded myself into. I can no longer stand the sight of myself, so naturally, I believe that others can't stand the sight of me, either. When others look at me, I start to twitch, and I wait agonizingly for the insults and disgusted remarks that never come. I know it's all in my head, but when I make eye contact with myself in a mirror, all I see is the disgust and the resentment I have for myself... I'm pathetic, aren't I?"

Geonhak felt like he'd had the air knocked out of him. Over two weeks, Geonhak had tried to piece together what exactly could've been plaguing Seoho's mind. But all of the conclusions he had drawn couldn't have ever prepared him for the real confession. Seoho was the group's sun, the happy virus who was capable of brightening even the dampest moods, smiling radiantly with his beautiful dazzling eyes that turned into crescent moons, surpassing the beauty of the real moon. He had always been the light that dragged them out of the night, leading them towards morning. Geonhak had never known that even the sun could fall from its high horse. Even the sun—the blindingly bright sun that lit up their paths—could lose its light upon being swallowed up by the darkness and set into a blood-red sunset.

Over and over, he beat himself up inside, wondering just how he'd been unable to detect any of it. Then he realized—he _had_ noticed it. He'd noticed how Seoho had opted for wearing baggier clothing; he'd noticed the cutdown on Seoho's meals, how he had chosen to eat as little as humanely possible; he'd noticed Seoho avoiding his reflection in any polished surface, and the distant look he always got in his eyes. What he hadn't noticed was that they were all puzzle pieces—capable of being pieced together to find the apparent problem.

"Hyung..." But what could Geonhak say? What was the best way of comforting Seoho? He'd always been a closed book, unpredictable even if one looked at him from all angles and tried to find an opening to poke through. Despite uplifting everyone's spirits, he was careful to keep himself impenetrable. So Geonhak was conflicted because this was the first time Seoho had ever laid his heart bare for Geonhak to see. This was what he had strived for—the confession he'd continued pushing for—but now that he finally received it, he was unsure how to react to it.

But he'd promised Seoho, and himself, that he'd bear the burden of whatever it was Seoho was trying to carry on his own. Because of that, Seoho entrusted him with some of the weight of his problems.

So he scooted closer to Seoho and encircled his back, compelling Seoho to rest his head on Geonhak's shoulder, bringing back a sense of Deja Vu. It was not much, but it didn't have to be, because it was enough for Seoho. Just getting it out in the open was enough to relieve some of the pressure on his shoulders, and he was able to temporarily forget about it and focus on Geonhak.

The ease and comfort were shortlived, however, because then the creeping, crawling tingles of uncertainty beneath his skin returned, mightier than before since he'd confessed what he'd been hiding for over a month. Right when he thought the anchor had slackened and permitted him to drift away with the calming waves, it delved deeper into the sandy bottom of the ocean, tying him down as the vicious waves slammed into him, rocking his boat. Even when he couldn't raise the anchor, he confessed because he believed he was ready—he confessed in hopes that he'd be able to leap off the edge of the boat and swim to safety, but he caught himself on the verge of drowning, instead. The appalling trembling came back, running up and down Seoho's spine, and he couldn't trust himself. He didn't deserve consolation from anyone, much less Geonhak.

Because he was in shambles—a growing mess—and Geonhak was perfect, as always.

Geonhak felt the shaking of Seoho's body, and he was barely given time to let it sink in that Seoho was about to pull away, much less act upon it. Just like that, Seoho was pushing his arms away and moving back to his original spot on the bench, shoulders slouched as he curled into himself.

"It's late. We should sleep." Seoho did his best to tug on a smile, but by now, Geonhak could see through every smile, every lie he told through his gritted teeth. Perhaps Geonhak couldn't read Seoho like an open book, but at least he was capable of observing his smallest movements, and he knew doubt and fear when he saw it.

"Hyung, you're doing that again."

"Hm? Doing what?"

Much like the night in Seoho's room, Geonhak grabbed hold of Seoho's arm, tugging him to face each other. He pointed to Seoho's downcast eyes that flitted around to everywhere but Geonhak's face. "This—this thing you're doing with your eyes. You always avoid eye contact with me when you're regretting something, or you're scared."

Seoho wanted to retort—contradict what Geonhak was saying, or deny it—but he couldn't when he'd made himself too obvious already. Maybe this was what he got for confessing. He should've just stayed silent instead of saying anything. It was stupid—he was stupid for even thinking about letting Geonhak shoulder his burden with him. He'd made a fool of himself in front of Geonhak again.

So he tried to get out of there. That was all that was left for him—escape and hide and will the feeling of doubt to go away. But when he stood up, Geonhak's hand caught his wrist, firmly holding him and refusing to let go. He tugged him back down onto the bench.

"Seoho," Geonhak began, and Seoho visibly flinched. Geonhak had only ever called him solely by his first name a handful of times, and those moments were always when he was dead serious and wanted a straightforward answer for whatever he was about to say. "Why do you keep trying to run away? I thought we were past this. I told you to trust me, so why do you continue to cower from me? I tried to get you to confess so I could help you, not so you could hide farther in your cave." With each harsh snap in Geonhak's tone, Seoho flinched away, curling into himself. Seeing this, Geonhak felt his heart sink farther into the pits of his stomach, and his voice softened. "Hyung, you can trust me, remember? I don't want you to be scared of me."

Seoho knew—of course, he knew. But that didn't stop the creeping fear that increased with every fleeting second.

Underneath the moon, watching Seoho's glowing skin soak in its light, Geonhak's heart tingled at how radiating beautiful he looked, despite the creases of doubt and worry that sat between his eyes, drawing his forehead up in a tight knot. He yearned to lift his finger and smoothen out the wrinkles in between his pretty eyes to put him at ease, and then maybe let his fingers trail down farther just to run his thumb over the skin of his soft cheek. Geonhak's eyes narrowed on Seoho's plush rosy lips, and he craved to thumb at it and surge forward for a kiss. In his deepest fantasies, he wondered if it would be as soft as he always imagined it to be.

As he allowed that thought to develop and build upon itself, he couldn't stop the tugging in his gut that urged him to satisfy his curiosity. If Seoho's behaviour around him hinted anything special, then there was a possibility that Seoho shared his feelings. Where this newfound courage came from, he didn't know, but all he knew was that after holding himself back for so long, he'd let the reigns slip from his hands, fuelling him, and he couldn't hold himself back anymore from his desires.

When their lips touched, Geonhak felt fireworks explode in his chest, and he pressed closer, forcing Seoho's lips to fall open before delving deeper. His heart swelled with the urge to cheer when he discovered that Seoho's lips were, indeed, as soft as they looked. For a good minute or two, Seoho was stiff in his spot, eyes almost bulging out of their sockets as time stopped for him. His head whirred as he tried to process what was happening.

All too quick, Geonhak was pulling away to look into Seoho's eyes, spotting no resistance or want to push him away—only shock. He took it as a good sign, and he surged back in to reconnect their lips. This time, Seoho's eyes finally fell shut and he willingly parted his lips to grant Geonhak entrance, fitting their lips together like pieces of a puzzle.

Geonhak tilted his head and slowly moved his lips against Seoho's, engraving this feeling and this moment into his memory. The sound of his racing heartbeat was all he could hear, and he was almost fearful that his heart would leap out of his chest. 

Seoho felt detached from the world, a little disorientated, but pleasantly. His mind felt like a void, a bottomless pit—an abyss full of darkness. That evident line between his mind—his thoughts—and reality blurred until he was standing on the edge of the cliff, teetering back and forth and ready to tip over. Time halted, but it also picked up speed, everything falling apart yet simultaneously coming together. His mind was unable to differentiate what was real and what was in his head, and it felt right. He'd lusted for Geonhak, lusted for this moment, but it was only something he was able to acquire in his deepest fantasies. But now, that fantasy had become his reality, and Seoho was sure he'd sprout wings and soar away. Perhaps he already had.

But his euphoria was stamped on by the demons of doubt plaguing his mind, and everything sank in too quickly—all at once. Why would Geonhak kiss him if he didn't feel the same way? If he didn't return his feelings, why would he fuel Seoho's fantasies and quench his lust by kissing him? Then there was a chance that he knew that Seoho loved him. He never found himself good at hiding his feelings for Geonhak because, around him, he just let everything slip. Because Seoho couldn't help but succumb to him.

And then Seoho realized—Geonhak pitied him. After weeks of Geonhak pushing, Seoho finally confessed. He thought he was geared up for any of the consequences he'd face, but he'd never known one of those consequences would be a kiss from the one he loved. He thought he'd learned how to swim, but once he was tossed into the ocean, he faced a consequence he never would've imagined, and suddenly he was drowning—maybe he hadn't been as prepared for the consequences as he had believed. Geonhak didn't love him—there was no way—but after seeing him break down once, twice, he pitied him enough to toy with him and plant a seed of false hope in his heart.

Geonhak took advantage of him in his state of vulnerability.

The feeling of bliss crumbled right before Seoho's eyes, and his heart ached as if it was ripped open with a blazing hot knife. Harshly, he shoved Geonhak away, crushing the regret as soon as it came upon seeing the look of surprise and hurt in Geonhak's face.

"Hyung, what—"

"Do you find it fun? Toying with my feelings and taking advantage of me when I'm vulnerable—does it amuse you? Because it doesn't amuse me. You knew that I liked you, so you did that, didn't you?"

When the words finally sank in, Geonhak realized Seoho had just _confessed_ to him. His feelings weren't just onesided, and his heart prepared to soar. But instead, it lodged itself in his throat and crumbled to his feet when the entirety of what Seoho said finally registered.

Seoho thought he'd kissed him out of pity. Upon seeing the rage and shattered hope in Seoho's eyes, Geonhak understood that he'd done more damage than good.

When Seoho felt tears gathering in his eyes, he felt pathetic. "You don't get to do that to me. You can't just kiss me and expect me to give in to you completely."

Seoho's next words felt like a slap to the face.

"I never should've trusted you."

And then Geonhak was alone on the rooftop of their company. Through collided emotions and jumbled thoughts, he barely managed to pick up on the sound of the door of the roof swinging open before it slammed closed behind Seoho. Alone with his silence, Geonhak almost screamed.

What he'd feared most came true.

~~~

By now, the rest of the ONEUS members had caught on that there was something up with Seoho. To be fair, when the group's happy virus went from uplifting everyone's spirits with his corny jokes to flashing smiles that didn't quite reach his eyes, it was hard not to. 

What made it more apparent was how Seoho had begun to avoid Geonhak as well. As far as they knew, Seoho and Geonhak had been perfectly fine, even cuddled up next to each other on the couch while watching the movie, and then Seoho had returned from the rooftop alone, slamming the door to his bedroom behind him.

"It's not just me who noticed that something's wrong with Seoho, right?" Hwanwoong whispered, and the other members all nodded in unison before throwing a glance at the closed bathroom door, where Seoho had kept himself locked in for the past twenty minutes. From where they were all splayed out on the couch in the living room, their eyes then strayed to Geonhak, who was busy searching for the last yogurt in the fridge. Too bad he didn't know Dongju had eaten it already, but none of them were really up to tell Geonhak, and they let him continue searching the crowded fridge, in vain.

After what was probably forever, the lock of the bathroom door clicked, and Seoho stepped out in a pair of grey sweatpants and a baggy t-shirt, a towel around his neck as he used one end to dry his wavy hair. Unable to keep his curiosity at bay, Dongju said, "Geonhak hyung, what's going on with you and Seoho hyung?" Young Jo sighed at Dongju's loose mouth while Hwanwoong slapped the youngest member's arm, cursing him out.

There was a heavy pause in the air as Geonhak froze by the open fridge door, eyes desperately searching for Seoho's, wishing he would just turn his head and at least acknowledge his presence. He wanted Seoho to see the regret and apology that was written in his eyes, despite not being able to say it out loud. But Seoho refused to meet his eyes, his gaze falling to his bare feet before his head snapped back up.

Seoho turned to Dongju, smiling the smile that never quite reached his eyes. Geonhak didn't know he could hate that smile any more than he already did, but his hatred for it seemed to skyrocket after the night on the rooftop—because he would continue to blame himself for adding to the pain in that smile. What had started as his attempt to ease the hurt in that smile ended up only doubling the smile's hurt.

"Nothing's wrong with us," Seoho grinned, but it wasn't as if Dongju was a clueless child. None of them were.

But before Dongju had the chance to open his mouth and point out that Seoho had been exceptionally distant with every single one of them, the door to the dorm burst open and Keonhee came running in. "Guys, pack your bags! We're going on vacation!"

Young Jo made a sound of shock while Dongju and Hwanwoong perked up and began to cheer. Geonhak gave up his search for the yogurt upon hearing the news. This was the best thing he'd heard in a while, and now that promotions were over, they deserved a break for their hard work. Seoho wasn't as excited about the idea of a vacation, especially since he didn't have the energy to play and sightsee, but seeing the members so overjoyed at the news was enough to have a small but warm smile splitting his face.

"To where?" Young Jo asked.

Keonhee thought for a second to remember what their manager had said. "Ah! Remember where we filmed the music video for Twilight?"

"Milan?"

"Yeah, we're going there."

Their flight was scheduled to leave two days from then, which gave them the next day to pack their suitcases. As the youngest members chatted animatedly about what they were planning to bring and the places they were hoping to see that they were unable to see the previous time due to their packed schedule, Geonhak chanced another glance at Seoho.

His eyes followed the movements of their members, watching them fondly, but he still had that distant gaze in his eyes. Geonhak wanted to hold Seoho close to him again—tell him that it was okay even if he believed it wouldn't be, and he could trust him because he'd always be there for him. But now, Geonhak felt that he wasn't even allowed to do that much for Seoho, because he'd messed up big time. And the worst part of it all was that Geonhak wasn't sure how to approach Seoho anymore to make up for everything he'd done.

~~~

The day of their flight finally came, and Dongju was ecstatic, waking them all up at the wee hours of the morning to make last-minute preparations and make sure everything was in place and they weren't missing anything.

The day before, they'd all laid their clothes out in the living room, picking what they wanted to wear and what they'd probably have to wear depending on the weather. They'd heard that the weather was refreshing and cool in Milan during the fall. As Geonhak watched Seoho out of his peripheral vision, his heart sank upon seeing that everything Seoho packed was baggy and long to hide his body.

While packing, Keonhee had tripped over his suitcase, clattering along with it to the floor. The suitcase burst open, and the members were stupified to see packs of instant noodles spill out from amongst Keonhee's clothes. Embarrassed, Keonhee tried to hide them all and stuff them back under his clothes, but to no avail—the members had already spotted it.

"Wow, you're unbelievable," Hwanwoong said, Dongju laughing hysterically next to him. "You were planning on bringing _instant noodles_ on the plane?"

Keonhee whined, "They probably don't have this ramyeon there."

"We're going on vacation for five days, not forever," Young Jo deadpanned. "You can part with your ramyeon for a few days."

Keonhee whined some more, stating that he'd planned on sharing them with the members, too, but eventually, he had to put them all back in the cupboard. He sulked throughout the rest of their time packing.

It was 5 AM when they'd arrived at the airport to check their luggage in. During that time, Dongju continued to spring on the tips of his toes, peering over everyone's heads as he impatiently tapped his foot, wondering if the line could be any slower. Their flight was scheduled to leave at 8 AM, which meant they had plenty of time after checking their luggage in to grab snacks. Seoho dozed in the waiting area while they all grabbed something to eat. He'd had dark bags under his eyes, claiming he hadn't been able to sleep in excitement. But Geonhak knew better than that.

When they finally began boarding the plane, Dongju huffed a sigh of relief as he realized his agonizing wait was over. He was probably the most energized and delighted over the news of a vacation. No one could blame him—their last vacation was months ago.

Geonhak had hoped his seat would be next to Seoho's just so he could make the effort to talk to him and clear up the misunderstanding, but much to his dismay, Seoho's seat was next to Young Jo two rows in front of him. After tucking his bag into the overhead bin, Hwanwoong took a seat next to Geonhak and eyed the older, whose head was resting on the glass of the window, waiting for the plane to take off.

Hwanwoong elbowed Geonhak, grabbing his attention. "So, care to tell us what's going on with you and Seoho hyung? You two are making it a little too obvious that there's something wrong."

"Nothing's wrong with us."

"If you're planning on lying, at least come up with a plausible lie. You've used that one a bit too much already.

Geonhak sighed. "It's a little complicated."

"Complicated how?"

"Don't push it, Hwanwoong." Seeing that Geonhak chose to play the silent card, Hwanwoong eventually gave up.

Over the intercom, their flight attendant informed them to have their seatbelts on and to keep their phones turned off. The plane jolted as it prepared to take off, and then their eleven-hour flight began.

~~~

By the time their plane had landed and they'd all grabbed their luggage, the joy and energy that was previously there perished, exhaustion and the desire to sleep taking the steering wheel and settling into their bones. Even Dongju wasn't bouncing in excitement anymore. He'd been the first one to knock out from fatigue on the plane. Their hotel rooms had already been booked and paid for—all they had to do was split into groups of two and hitch two taxis to get there.

They all played rock-paper-scissors to determine who would be sharing the same room as whom. Geonhak tried to hide his disappointment when he found out he'd be rooming with Young Jo. It wasn't a bad thing—they'd roomed together multiple times, whether it was when they were throwing concerts in foreign countries or going on trips as a group. Young Jo wasn't as rowdy or chaotic as the younger members, so he'd take him over the others any day. He'd just hoped that maybe he could land himself in the same room as Seoho so they could have more time to talk things out with one another. But Seoho was set on avoiding him at all costs, and when Keonhee had grabbed Seoho's arm and said that he called dibs on rooming with Seoho, the latter had been more than willing to room with him. Anyone over Geonhak was fine.

Pushing the door open to their hotel room, Keonhee dropped all his luggage by the door and made a beeline for the bed, collapsing on it. He sighed happily and sagged into the mattress. "Now this is heaven."

Seoho closed the door behind him, pushing Keonhee's luggage aside with his foot. "You should probably wash up before sleeping." There was a whine from the bed, but no further attempt was made to get up.

They'd roomed in Milan a few months ago when they'd been filming for the music video of Twilight. But despite that, Seoho was still amazed at how beautiful their hotel rooms were. The room was spacious and two king-sized beds sat on the left side of the room. The walls were tinted beige, curtains of the same colour hanging on either side of the large window that overlooked the bustling street below. Cut warm crimson silk sheets were smoothened out near the base of each of the beds.

From one of the beds, Seoho detected the sound of steady exhales and found Keonhee sound asleep. Seoho sighed.

It was well past 9:20 PM, and Seoho could feel exhaustion creeping up on him. He'd slept briefly before their flight, but he wasn't able to sleep on the plane, no matter how hard he had tried. His rest the night before had been fitful as well. Convincing the other members that it was because he was excited about the trip was easy.

They initially planned to play rock-paper-scissors to pair themselves up with someone to room with, but Keonhee had chosen him before the game had even started, so Seoho had gone along with it. That meant he was exempt from playing the game, which meant there was no chance that he'd end up rooming with Geonhak.

He couldn't stand to spare a glance at Geonhak, even when every living cell in his body screamed at him to at least acknowledge his presence. If he did, he'd give in to Geonhak and his whims, and he'd hurt himself again. He'd been unable to get that night on the roof out of his head, precisely the moment when their lips connected, and Seoho could feel himself ascending to cloud nine. He'd lived years just fantasizing about kissing Geonhak, but now that he had the chance to, he couldn't stop craving for more. When he was going about his day, he longed for nothing more than to be in Geonhak's warm embrace again, where he felt like he belonged, pressed up against his side like they were meant to be. But if Geonhak didn't feel the same way, what was the point? It was all just wishful thinking in the end because his feelings would always be onesided. So Seoho had no choice but to loathe Geonhak—though, the one he loathed more was none other than himself for being weak when it came to Geonhak. He loathed the sole fact that he loved Geonhak to the point where he wasn't capable of actually despising him. That was why he couldn't cross paths with Geonhak, even if it killed him on the inside.

Ten minutes whirred by when Seoho stepped out of the bathroom, all washed up and in a pair of pyjama bottoms and a heavy sweater that almost passed his mid-thighs and had sleeves that fell over his hands. Even with the window wide open to let the cool breeze in, Seoho wasn't feeling the least bit cold. He was beginning to sweat a little under the collar, and the weight of the sweater didn't help in the slightest. But despite that, this was what he was most comfortable in because of its size. It prevented him from seeing his form in the mirror, and for the time being, he could take his mind off of his body and everything that laid underneath his clothes that he didn't wish to see.

Regardless of the overwhelming waves of blazing heat that pumped through his veins and washed over him, he still curled under the thick covers and willed himself to fall asleep. From the bed next to him, Keonhee continued to sleep peacefully.

Sleep didn't come easily for Seoho.

~~~

After a night of well-deserved sleep, they were all recharged, and Dongju was springing back into action, ready to officially start their vacation. He'd knocked on all of their doors, even blowing their phones up to get their attention, nearly scaring Keonhee out of his wits at 6 AM when his ringtone blared with the tenth phone call from their youngest member.

Breakfast was eaten outside under the shimmering sun, all of them seated at a round, polished table that was originally meant for only four people, but somehow, they made it work. It would've been easier if they had just split into groups of three and ate at two separate tables. That would've at least spared them the strange glances from the hotel workers, and they would've had more space on their table, rather than having to pack food for six starving men on one single surface. Half of the food on the table had belonged solely to Keonhee and Dongju, and no matter how many times he'd seen them eat, Geonhak still questioned if they possessed six stomachs to rotate between.

The only one who hadn't eaten a lot was Seoho, who had only filled his plate with a single croissant and a spoonful of fruits from the fruit bowl. Feeling daring, Geonhak had offered Seoho half of his chocolate chip muffin, to which Seoho replied with a curt, "I don't want it," eyes never meeting his.

A few months ago, on their visit to Milan, they made a small list of what they desired to do there. They wanted to go to a beach, eat at a five-star restaurant, play watersports, and possibly go hiking. Of course, there was no point in making the list because getting the chance to do those activities was out of the question when their schedule was so packed with the music video filming. Yet, they still toyed with the thought that they'd, one day, get to enjoy their time in such a beautiful place without having to be hoarded away to shoot. And now the well-awaited time had come, and there was no way they'd let this moment slip through their fingers.

Which was how they all found themselves surrounded by the sounds of waves crashing against the shore, the cries of circling seagulls above them, the soft feeling of white sand beneath their feet, and the misty smell of sea salt filling their nostrils. The beach wasn't packed with as many bodies as there would've been if it had been a hot summer day well into July, but there were a couple of families who came with their children—not to play in the water, but to talk and relish in the soothing feeling that beaches normally brought.

Shouting out in pure joy, Dongju headed straight for the pushing and pulling tides, barely managing to throw his socks and shoes off in the process. Keonhee was hot on his heels, stuffing his socks into his shoes. The weather was somewhat chilly, but neither of them seemed to mind as they splashed in the water, clad in their shorts and thin, long-sleeved black shirts.

"The water's freezing!" Keonhee shouted, already knee-deep in the water. Not too long after, they all heard a shriek, and they barely caught Keonhee's face of terror before Dongju was dunking him in the water.

They hadn't brought an extra change of clothes.

A couple of the children, both of who were around the age of ten, were playing with a soccer ball before it bounced away and rolled over to Geonhak, hitting his heels. Geonhak picked it up and held it out to the little girl whose curly hair was pulled into pigtails. She seemed apprehensive to approach him, but Geonhak just smiled warmly at her, waiting patiently, until she began taking small steps towards him to accept the ball gratefully. She thanked him in a small voice, and Geonhak's soft smile grew. Upon realizing that he wasn't anyone to be fearful of, she smiled back. Something about her heart-shaped smile reminded Geonhak of Seoho.

Speaking of Seoho, he was standing a safe distance away from where the waves washed up onto the shore, arms by his sides and his hands covered by the sleeves of his baggy white shirt. Once again, he was wearing grey sweatpants. That was his fourth time wearing the same sweatpants in that week alone.

"Well, what's up?" Hwanwoong said nonchalantly, startling Seoho out of his daze. Since Geonhak refused to speak, he planned on changing his target. "What's going on with you and Geonhak hyung?" What Hwanwoong didn't realize, was that Seoho was a tougher nut to crack than Geonhak. His whole name hadn't even left Hwanwoong's mouth yet, but Seoho was already stiffening and avoiding his gaze, fragments of betrayal and hurt flickering in his eyes. Before Seoho could open his mouth to speak, Hwanwoong added, "And don't say that nothing's wrong. Both of you have overused that excuse about a hundred times already. Give me something a little more original."

Seoho toed at the sand with his sneaker. "I don't know what kind of answer you're expecting out of me."

It wasn't just what was wrong with Geonhak and Seoho—it was what was wrong with Seoho individually. Hwanwoong sighed. "Fine, then don't tell me—both of you. We'll talk about something else, how's that? Enlighten me on why you're wearing the same sweatpants for the millionth time this week."

"That's exaggerating."

"Well, _duh._ I'm just saying—you've been wearing that a lot lately, and to the beach, too? Really?"

"I forgot to bring shorts," Seoho replied. Hwanwoong knew, though, that Seoho didn't, in fact, forget to bring shorts. They'd all watched as Seoho pulled all of his large clothes out of his closet and threw his shorts back onto the pile of clothes that had built up as they'd tried to select what they'd bring on the trip, tossing their other clothes into a pile. In the end, they'd all been too tired and lazy to pick the clothes up and hang them back up.

"Mhm, whatever you say, sunshine," Hwanwoong sighed, linking his arm with Seoho's. The latter tensed, breath catching in his throat before he slowly pried his arm away from Hwanwoong's grip. Hwanwoong fought the urge to sigh again. This was their Lee Seoho—mysterious and secretive to the core. If Geonhak was a tiny opening that only the bravest of individuals dared to squeeze through, Seoho was a complete dead-end—no way around and no way over, and absolutely no openings to pass through. He was impossible to penetrate unless someone found a way to break down his walls.

The next hour consisted of the members teaming up on Dongju to dunk him into the water, the most vengeful being Keonhee who wanted to return the favour, hair still wet and dripping on the ends while his shirt was plastered to his chest. He was freezing, and if he had to suffer, so did Dongju. The only bystander was Seoho, who watched off to the side as Hwanwoong and Young Jo grabbed Dongju's legs, Geonhak grabbing Dongju by his underarms while Keonhee played the ringleader, leading them all to the crashing waves. Their attempt had been quite successful, and the members ran away after dropping Dongju in the water, cackling like hyenas.

As Geonhak ran with them, his eyes happened to stray to Seoho, making the mistake of locking eyes with him. The creases between Seoho's eyebrows made a reappearance, and Seoho set his jaw before looking away. The blooming flower of happiness in Geonhak's heart was stepped on, and his heart fell.

There was a scream from the water, and Dongju was popping up, struggling to wipe the water out of his eyes before he snarled at the members who'd all fled. "I don't have extra clothes!"

"And you think _I_ brought extra clothes?" Keonhee yelled back, sticking his tongue out.

With no comeback, Dongju just opted for whining as he trudged out of the water, shorts sticking to his legs and goosebumps running up his arms and down his spine, chills seeping down to his core.

At some point, the three youngest members all ended up in the water, waves rising to their knees. Hwanwoong was the only one out of the three who hadn't worn shorts, unfortunately, so he had to roll his pants up to his knees, which did absolutely nothing because, in only a mere few minutes, he was the next victim to be dunked into the water. They would have to sort out the problem with their wet clothes themselves because Young Jo was _not_ going to be responsible for that. Geonhak was watching fondly as the children continued to play with the soccer ball, waving to the little girl with the curly hair when she caught him staring.

Seoho was seated on the sand, knees pulled up to his chest with his arms wrapped around them, securing them. Young Jo came to sit next to him. "Not gonna play in the water with the rest of them?"

Seoho shook his head. "I'm not feeling up for it. Unlike them, I don't make bad decisions without having an extra change of clothes." A beat of silence passed between them, then two, then three. Seoho turned to Young Jo. "So, are you gonna ask me what's wrong with Geonhak and me, too?"

Young Jo shook his head, feigning innocence. "Oh, no, no. What would make you think that?"

Seoho cocked an eyebrow. "Oh, nothing. Just a hunch."

"But since you brought it up, why not enlighten me?" When Seoho remained silent, Young Jo chose that moment to be serious. "All jokes aside, we're really worried about you two. You've been acting distant with all of us, and Geonhak hasn't been himself lately, either, and we'd be blind not to notice the way he keeps staring at you—like a mixture of adoration, as if you hung the stars for him, and remorse for a mistake he will never be able to undo." Something in Seoho's chest tightened and crumbled upon hearing that. "We don't know what Geonhak did, or why it upset you, but you should know that Geonhak seems sorry for what he did. We just want you two to talk it out instead of avoiding each other, and maybe you'll find it in you to forgive him."

But Young Jo didn't know the big picture. He had probably never been in such a situation before—where he loved someone so much, it hurt, only to be taken advantage of. He didn't know what he was talking about when he said that Geonhak stared at him like he was someone special. Seoho was more than sure it was just a bluff—a way to get Seoho to cave and crawl back to Geonhak. If Geonhak liked him, he would've confessed already by now. He was fully aware of Seoho's more-than-platonic feelings towards him, so if he returned his feelings, he would've already taken the chance to confess.

When Seoho continued to sit in silence, Young Jo sighed and patted his shoulders. "Just think about it, okay? We just want to help you two." Any other words he had planned on saying were lost in his throat when Hwanwoong ran up to him with open arms, soaked from head to toe, expecting a hug.

Yelling at him to stay away, Young Jo shot up and ran in the opposite direction. Dongju and Keonhee soon joined Hwanwoong, and the three of them began closing in on their oldest member.

~~~

That night at 10 PM found all the ONEUS members gathered in Geonhak and Young Jo's shared hotel room. Dinner had been delivered to their dorms three hours ago, and it was now sitting in their stomachs as they sat on the commodious floor. They'd all been lured in by Young Jo when he claimed he had brought board games. At the mention of board games, they'd all believed he had brought a game like Scrabble or Game of Life. He did not, in fact, have Scrabble—the only game he'd brought was checkers because he was a loser like that. Thankfully, they had Hwanwoong to save them. Sharing the same brain cell with Young Jo, Hwanwoong had also brought board games of his own, except they were actually entertaining.

That was how they all found themselves sitting on the floor of Young Jo and Geonhak's hotel room with Snakes and Ladders out in front of them. Apparently, Keonhee lived under a rock because he was clueless about how the game worked, so Dongju had to teach him in a passive-aggressive tone. Seoho seemed to be cursed with rolling ones each time. Every time Hwanwoong was sure he would win with one more roll, he'd roll the one number that would be his doom and continuously landed himself at the end of the largest snake. The heavens were on Dongju's side until he rolled a four, and he eventually suffered the same fate as Hwanwoong. Geonhak basically lived on the first row of the board game. Young Jo barely ever made any advancements, but he never fell from his place, either. Contrary to everyone's beliefs, Keonhee ended up winning the game.

After many stressful and suspenseful rounds of Snakes and Ladders, they learned that their luck had run out by the second round, and Keonhee had quickly become a master at the game. At least they found another talent for him to boast about.

Uno was the next runner-up, and the tables quickly turned. Keonhee's luck had completely run out, all of it used for Snakes and Ladders, and he found himself drawing cards every time Hwanwoong put a card down. He just didn't understand why he had no yellow cards, but he was sure Hwanwoong possessed the majority. When Geonhak placed down a red 3, Dongju whipped out an Uno reverse, and Keonhee groaned when he had to pick up more cards from the deck until he came across one that was red. When everyone still had at least four cards, Seoho was already yelling Uno with a single blue card left. Hwanwoong was prepared to let out a cry of victory when he placed down his card and was left with only one. Much to his dismay, however, Young Jo had unintentionally caught a glimpse of his last card and used that to his advantage, putting down a green 7. Hwanwoong's last card was a yellow 2.

Needless to say, their game night was filled with betrayal, plot twists, luck, misfortune, and Keonhee eating all the snacks on the side without anyone of them noticing until it was too late. Their game night continued into the wee hours of the morning, each hour blurring into the next. By 3 AM, Hwanwoong had dozed off and was sagging against the wall. Dongju had his head on Keonhee's shoulder as he struggled to wrestle the sleep out of his system, though it wasn't going too well for him. Within seconds, he'd completely slumped into Keonhee's side. Keonhee, on the other hand, wasn't doing any better. Young Jo was still up and about, placing all the board games' pieces in their respective boxes and setting them on the table before proceeding to clean up the huge mess of empty snack bags that laid around.

As for Geonhak, as much as he would've loved to help Young Jo clean the floor, he had Seoho's head resting in his lap, Seoho sound asleep with soft exhales escaping his lips. When Geonhak found Seoho fast asleep with his head resting on the cold, hard floor, he thought that there was no way that could've been comfortable, so before he could reconsider, he gently picked up Seoho's head off the floor, and he settled it on his thigh. Geonhak didn't have the heart to wake him up, and he couldn't move in fear that Seoho would startle awake. So he could only treasure that moment, grasping it tightly in his hand before it began to slip out from in between his fingertips, and he would only be left with the lingering feeling it had engraved into his heart. He wondered just how Seoho would react if he woke up at that moment and found himself sleeping on the one person he'd devoted his efforts to avoid.

Wiping away the last of the chip crumbs, Young Jo straightened up and stared at the three youngest members who were all slumped against one another. "Well, I should probably bring them back to their own rooms. There isn't all the space in the world to fit them in this room."

"I would help you, but..." Geonhak eyed the mop of ash-black hair in his lap. He then flashed an apologetic smile at Young Jo.

"It's okay. I can deal with them on my own." As he said that, he crouched to sling Hwanwoong's right arm over his shoulder and lifted him off the floor, staggering back a bit before regaining his balance. He felt Hwanwoong's pockets for the room key and luckily, Hwanwoong was in possession of it, not Dongju.

As he stumbled out of the room, Geonhak gazed back down at Seoho. This was the closest he'd gotten to him in the past couple of days, and it was the closest he'd ever get to him until Seoho forgave him—if he even chose to forgive him. If Geonhak apologized for it and even confessed his feelings, Seoho would understand that he hadn't kissed him out of pity, but because he loved Seoho just as much as he loved him. It was supposed to be easy, considering Seoho had already confessed in his moment of blinding rage, yet every time Geonhak tried to get the words out, he'd freeze up. Like the coward he was, he could only curl back into his shell, even after he'd scouted his surroundings for potential danger. Geonhak didn't know how he'd been so blind to not realize Seoho's feelings for him earlier. Maybe then, he would've realized that Seoho's sentiment of love reflected his own.

Geonhak's eyes traced over Seoho's delicate features—traced the curve of his bow-shaped lips, his eyelashes, and his long, feline eyes. His fingers itched with the urge to run down the slope of Seoho's nose, but he managed to hold himself back. He was holding himself back from a lot of things lately. Ironically, Geonhak wanted to kiss Seoho again, even just a light peck to his cheek. That should've been the last thought on his mind, considering everything he'd fucked up already with a single kiss. All because he'd felt daring.

By then, Young Jo had already moved the other members to their hotel rooms, almost breaking his back in the process. He shut the door to their hotel room behind him, toeing off his sneakers. "What are you going to do about him?"

"I'll move him to my bed," Geonhak said. With much difficulty, Geonhak finally managed to slip a hand under Seoho's back and under his thighs, lifting him with ease. Seoho squirmed in his arms and Geonhak tensed as he waited for any signs of awakening, only to come across none. He exhaled in relief and proceeded to maneuver him to his bed. With Young Jo's help, Geonhak tucked Seoho under the covers, resting his head gently on the pillow.

Young Jo caught the look of Geonhak's eyes that lingered a few seconds too long on Seoho's face. Geonhak grabbed a white shirt and shorts from his suitcase and stuffed it into his bag. He headed for the door. Young Jo frowned. "Where are you going?"

"I'll sleep in Seoho's room. I don't think he'll be too happy to see me here in the morning," Geonhak replied. The door closed after him shortly after.

~~~

The second day, they visited a handful of five-star restaurants and reviewed the various cuisines from each place. Dongju and Keonhee's excuse was that it was a way they could embrace the beautiful culture of Milan and understand the fascinating ways of the people. Really, though, it was just so they could eat as much food as they wanted. There wasn't anything to complain about because whatever expectations they had up in their heads—the food at each restaurant was several times better. Needless to say, none of them ate dinner that night when they'd alright eaten five different dinners throughout the day.

On the third day, they'd had the time of their lives with several water sports. To start simple, they'd gone on the banana boat. At least, they thought it was an easy start, but then Hwanwoong had tipped over it and was stranded in the middle of the lake while the members whizzed away on the boat with no way of turning around for him. When they'd returned, they'd found Hwanwoong seated on the bench, glaring daggers at them with a towel wrapped around his shoulders. He'd had to hitch a ride back from strangers, solely relying on his limited English vocabulary.

They also received lessons from a professional waterskier before trying it out themselves. Waterskiing was both fun and chaotic in a single frame. Young Jo had fallen the moment the boat's engine started up, coughing up water. They also tried parasailing, which only resulted in Keonhee's million complaints about heights. Even as they all waited for their turn to come, they could hear Keonhee screaming in the distance.

Nothing special happened on the fourth day, except that they went shopping for souvenirs to bring back to their family members. Young Jo and Hwanwoong bought matching accessories—simple gold rings and green rose earrings. Seoho bought a plain bracelet that he planned on gifting to his older sister. Dongju bought a hat and beige craft umbrella with embroidered images of Milan's greatest tourist attractions, while Keonhee chose not to buy anything—which he was sure to regret soon. Geonhak purchased a shimmering bronze band with the tiniest diamonds encrusted on the edges—something that didn't exactly fit his style. Though he claimed it was for himself, he couldn't help but ponder on the thought that the ring would look nice on Seoho.

As fun as it was, though, all good things had to come to an end, because time was always running, light on its feet whether you liked it or not. Like the hare from Alice in Wonderland, it was always ticking, always anticipating. And right when you believed you caught up to it, time would slip through your fingers, taking off again at the speed of light.

They were already on the fifth day of their vacation, so to spend their last day in Milan in an unforgettable manner, they chose to go hiking in the forest of a hill. The weather was quite chilly, the wind nipping at any patch of exposed skin, but even when Young Jo advised Dongju to wear his track pants rather than his shorts, Dongju refused, claiming that he'd get hot. If they were going to trudge on the trail for hours, he needed to be prepared to sweat buckets. But just to put Young Jo at ease, he packed track pants into his backpack, along with a bottle full of water. At the start of the trail had been a handful of pamphlets and maps on a stand, so Hwanwoong had taken it upon himself to grab a few maps. Knowing them, there was a chance that at least one of them would get lost in the forest.

It was well past 2 PM when Keonhee plopped in the middle of the trail, ignoring the broken twigs and small pebbles that poked his thighs sharply. "I'm tired. How long have we been walking for?"

"Not as long as we practice, that's for sure," Hwanwoong said, whipping out his phone to check the time. "Come on, it isn't even that late."

"We haven't even had lunch yet."

"Well, maybe if we hurry up, we can get to the end of the trail and then we can head back to eat."

Grumbling, Keonhee stood back up and dusted off his pants. Just then, Young Jo clapped his hands together. "Wait, what if we play a game to appease our exhaustion? We'll split up into pairs and take three different trails to the top, and whichever pair comes in first will decide what we get to eat for lunch—or dinner." With nothing better to do, the members all agreed.

As always, they planned to settle the pairs with rock-paper-scissors, but after Keonhee and Dongju ended up as a pair, Hwanwoong stopped them. "Wait, can I suggest something? How about Young Jo hyung and I go as a pair and Seoho hyung and Geonhak hyung go as a pair?"

Seoho's blood ran cold upon hearing that, and he opened his mouth to argue, but Young Jo cut him off. "This is the perfect opportunity for you two to sort out whatever it is that you two have going on between you." If there was one thing about Young Jo that Geonhak didn't like, it was that he was persistent. He wouldn't back down, and sooner or later, they would have to surrender and abide by his terms.

But when Geonhak scanned them for Seoho, he found Seoho off to the side, as far away from Geonhak as he could be while still being with the group. He knew Hwanwoong and Young Jo both meant well—they just wanted Geonhak and Seoho to resolve the problem between them so they could return home with no hard feelings. But Geonhak still couldn't help but feel betrayed by his group, even though, like Young Jo said, this was the perfect opportunity for Geonhak to be alone with Seoho and clear up the misunderstanding. Seoho had wriggled out of his claws several times and escaped, so now that Geonhak finally caught him, he couldn't let him scamper off again.

Young Jo handed a map to Dongju and Geonhak, then pointed out the three different paths they would take to get to the peak. It was far—at least an hour to get to the top, which meant one hour that Geonhak had to spend alone with Seoho, and one hour to try his best to put the broken puzzle back together. But it wasn't going to be easy when Seoho refused to look him in the eye.

Even when they all parted and the other two pairs travelled on the paths they had chosen, Geonhak and Seoho still stood in the clearing of the forest. The air was heavy around them, thick like honey that weighed Geonhak down. Except it was anything but sweet—maybe more like quicksand, sucking him in and dragging him down while he was incapable of doing anything other than panic and signal for help. The few birds that were left in the forest chirped, the rustling of leaves sounding overhead as they perched on the branches of the tallest trees. Geonhak could almost feel their beady eyes blearing down at him, mocking him and his current state.

Geonhak cleared his throat and opened the map. "We should probably start walking if we want to get there before them." Even though Seoho's eyes darted everywhere but Geonhak, he still nodded and followed Geonhak when he started walking, keeping a safe distance between them. Geonhak considered it progress.

It was silent between them, but it was anything but peaceful and comfortable. Instead, Geonhak felt like he was walking on eggshells. Seoho refused to speak, and Geonhak wasn't sure what to say.

They navigated through thick branches and slippery rocks on their way to the peak, but Geonhak knew they would make it to the top first. Or at least, that was what he thought until he glanced down at the map in his hands and no longer knew their place on it. He traced his finger on the path that they were supposed to take on the map, then peered back to see the path they were currently walking on—or the lack of.

Looking back was a mistake because Seoho caught his eye and frowned. "What?" Then his muscles stiffened and his heart lodged itself in his throat when he realized what Geonhak had been looking at. "Are we _lost_?"

Geonhak had hoped that it was all in his head, that it wasn't true. But hearing his darkest fear at that moment spoken out loud had Geonhak wincing when he realized that he wasn't just imagining it. He'd gotten them lost in the forest. "I—I think we are." Panic settled into Geonhak's bones. "Maybe I should try contacting the other members to tell them." But when he whipped his phone out, he was dejected to discover that his phone had run out of battery. He'd made the mistake of leaving it uncharged the night before. "My phone's dead." Seoho handed him his phone, to which Geonhak smiled gratefully, though Seoho still kept his eyes on the ground.

Seoho's phone wasn't going to last that long either, though. It only had twenty percent left. So Geonhak made quick work of calling the other members to let them know that they were stranded in the middle of the forest. After clicking Young Jo's contact, Geonhak held the phone to his ear and waited. The phone rang once, rang twice, and it kept ringing. Geonhak frowned. "Young Jo hyung's not picking up." So he tried dialling Dongju's number, but it went straight to voicemail. With every passing second that the members' didn't answer their phones, Geonhak lost hope. None of the members answered.

"Well?" Seoho said expectantly.

"None of them are answering the phone. They must have their ringer off." Seoho cursed under his breath. "I don't know why they all chose this moment to collectively have their phones off."

Geonhak glanced wearily at Seoho, but he found the older staring up at the sky, jaw set. Following his gaze, Geonhak looked up. Dark clouds were gathering above, and there was the slight flicker of a lightning bolt.

~~~

Just as Hwanwoong thought his legs would give out, he pushed a tree branch to the side and came across the clearing at the top. He exclaimed, "Young Jo hyung, I think we're here!" Young Jo was hot on his heel as they burst into the clearing, and just as they expected, they had made it to the top. From there, they had the whole view of the forest they had just trudged through and the road below with cars that honked while rushing past. Despite the steady drop in the temperature, the grass had never looked greener.

"Are the other groups still not here?" Even when Young Jo scanned the clearing, he found no one else but themselves. They had arrived first. Hwanwoong cheered and jumped into Young Jo's arms, patting his back.

Not too long after, though, there were grunts and complaints from the right, and Dongju and Keonhee were shoving their way out, their faces falling in defeat upon seeing that they hadn't arrived first. Dongju began grumbling to Keonhee, saying that he'd been too slow, and if he hadn't tripped over the large tree stump, they would've made it first. To that, Keonhee argued that it hadn't been his fault and that if Dongju hadn't distracted him, he would've seen it in his way.

"No point in complaining," Hwanwoong shrugged, grinning smugly. "We won."

"Whatever," Dongju grumbled, sulking. "So, should we start heading down the trail and eat?"

"Wait, not yet," Young Jo said. "Geonhak and Seoho still aren't here." And they all realized that Young Jo was right. Geonhak and Seoho still hadn't caught up to them. A feeling of dread washed over Young Jo. Maybe pairing them together was a bad idea. "One of us should call them."

Dongju whipped out his phone and dialled Geonhak's number, letting it ring a couple of times. He didn't answer. "He's not picking up."

"Try calling Seoho." When Dongju dialled Seoho's number, it went straight to Seoho's voicemail, his cheerful voice sounding through the phone, telling them to leave a message if unable to reach him.

"We shouldn't panic just yet," Keonhee tried to reason. "They probably got tired and stopped for a bit. Let's just wait for a minute for any sign of them."

But as one minute blurred into five and then ten, there was still no sign of Seoho and Geonhak anywhere. Not even a message or a call from them. Hwanwoong pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. There was no way they got lost, right? He foresaw this, so he'd even taken it upon him and the rest of the group to grab maps and handed them out to everyone. If they'd gotten lost, then...

"Alright, who wants to ring up the phone of the Milan search party? Not it," Keonhee said, touching the tip of his nose with his index finger.

Up above, thunder crackled, bolts of lightning splitting the sky. Dongju jumped. "It's going to rain, isn't it?" If Geonhak and Seoho really did lose their way in the forest, he hoped they wouldn't get caught in the rain.

~~~

Swarming above were the heavy, grey—almost black—clouds, blocking the burning orange sun with its sullen layers. The thunder that boomed above was heard before the rain came. It started light—just a few drops on the rocks and the bridges of their noses—but within a minute, a downpour commenced, sinking deep into the roots of their hair and running down their temples. Lightning struck overhead again, and Seoho flinched. Mindlessly, Geonhak's first instinct was to unzip his sweater and hold it over their heads in an attempt to shield them from the rain. It didn't do much, and the rain soaked through the thin fabric, but it was all they had, and it was better than standing out in the open and letting the rain wash over them.

It was like every typical rom-com Korean drama—the male lead shielding the female with his jacket as they fled from the rain. Those scenes were frequently in slow motion as the female lead relished in the curt moment of receiving the slightest attention from the object of her affections. This was where the plot turned, and the male lead's eyes would open as he realized his feelings for her ran deeper than the ocean, deeper than the label of simple acquaintances meant to be held at an arms-length. For a moment, Seoho bathed in that thought—the thought that he was the lead in a drama who was finally going to be noticed by the holder of his heart. It was a funny thought, he perceived, considering how he put in the effort to avoid Geonhak at all costs and crush his feelings for him. But it wasn't easy to escape Geonhak once he got a hold of you. Seoho was only one of the many victims that had helplessly succumbed to Geonhak.

To their relief, they came across a shack meant for water breaks. However, it wasn't open for business, probably due to the weather. They were the ones in the wrong for not checking the weather beforehand. It was small in size, the wood old and chipped away, but the structure still held on strong. Geonhak led them under the roof of the front porch of the shack and shook off the raindrops on his jacket. "It doesn't look like it's stopping anytime soon," Geonhak observed. "Looks like we'll be stuck here for a while."

They didn't even bring food on the trip, but that was the least of Seoho's worries. He was more anxious about having to sit with Geonhak for what would probably be hours until the rain finally stopped.

With his back against the locked door of the shack, Seoho pulled his knees to his chest. Like a sponge being squeezed, the downpour continued, its loud and rapid pitter-patters filling Seoho's ears. Chills ran down his spine, and he buried his nose in his sweater in seek of some warmth. It was a small movement, but Geonhak managed to catch it, and his heart twisted. He wished he could provide Seoho with some warmth, but his sweater was wet and cold, and he would be overstepping the boundaries if he asked to hug Seoho.

Geonhak felt stuffy, but there was nowhere to escape to unless he wanted to run out into the rain and risk catching a cold. Hours passed as they sat in complete silence—or at least, it felt like hours—the air heavy and barely breathable. There was no way of checking the time because Geonhak's phone was dead, and Seoho had shut down his phone to preserve battery, turning a deaf ear to Geonhak's complaints that they would probably miss calls from someone if they did that.

"Are you hungry?" It was a lame attempt at trying to rouse a conversation, but Geonhak didn't have a better idea, and that was the only topic that was generic enough to steer them clear of any personal, sensitive topics. Asking Seoho if he was cold had been another option, but that one was worse than asking him if he was hungry.

"No," Seoho grumbled, but the heavens weren't on his side, it seemed. As if on cue, his stomach grumbled, and Seoho wished to just bury himself right there—anything to hide from Geonhak's eyes.

He expected Geonhak to laugh—maybe make some quirky comment—but there was nothing of the sort. Just a little rustling from where Geonhak was sitting, and then there was a bright red apple being held within his line of vision. "Here, you can eat this. I brought it in case I got hungry, but I don't feel like having it," Geonhak said.

Geonhak was always like this. He was always doing the utmost, providing Seoho with whatever he needed, even without being told to. And it irked Seoho because this was how Geonhak filled him with false hope. He was oblivious to it—the effect he had on Seoho. It was because Geonhak took care of him, indulging him and being Seoho's shoulder to lean on, letting Seoho depend on him as much as he depended on Seoho. He continued watering the seed of hope that he'd planted in Seoho's heart, growing it for years and years, only to pull it out by its roots, leaving nothing but the empty hole of dirt where the plant had once been. So all Seoho could do was patch up the hole, closing the space with the dirt that had once held and shielded the plant of hope, and he pretended it didn't matter.

"Stop doing that," Seoho snapped before he could hold himself back.

Geonhak frowned. "Stop doing what?" But Seoho scowled and turned his head, looking the other way. Gripping the apple tightly in his hand, Geonhak tucked it back into his bag. He waited patiently for Seoho to elaborate, to explain what he'd meant by that. But no reply came, no further explanation—because even then, Seoho continued to be a locked chest. He was secretive, arcane to the core. He never spoke his mind and didn't expect others to get him, either. Never once had he worn his heart on his sleeve, choosing, instead, to tuck himself away from the whole world. "Hyung, I can't read your mind. What am I doing wrong?"

Seoho could feel his blood boil at how Geonhak was feigning oblivion. "The way you're acting right now—trying to be sweet like you actually like me. It's a sad attempt at trying to be sympathetic, don't you think?"

Now, Geonhak could finally see where Seoho was going with this conversation. Even when Geonhak had tried to avoid the topic, or bring it up at his own pace, Seoho had managed to grab the steering wheel before he'd collected himself.

Geonhak sighed. "Seoho hyung, it's a misunderstanding—"

"A _misunderstanding_? Is toying with my feelings a simple misunderstanding to you?" Seoho could laugh. Fuck it, he _did_ laugh. He'd never known it, but Geonhak really was heartless. How could he consider playing with Seoho's heart and indulging him in his fantasies a _misunderstanding_?

When Seoho laughed, Geonhak's heart sank. "Hyung, you know that's not what I meant."

"No, I don't know what you meant. You toyed with my feelings, indulging me because you knew I couldn't resist in such a state of vulnerability, and now you're trying to patch up your mistake with what? An apple as a peace offering? If that isn't what I think it is, then what is it, exactly?" Geonhak felt like he had been punched in the stomach, his words stripped right from his mouth, and he was left speechless—no comeback, no script prepared with an explanation ready to go. His silence didn't go unnoticed, and Seoho scoffed. "What, cat got your tongue? I can't believe you."

When Geonhak's face fell, and Seoho caught the look of defeat in his eyes that appeared so _sad_ , Seoho felt like a twig about to snap. That sensation of drowning in the ocean because he couldn't swim washed over him again, pulling him farther under the surface. He had every right to be angry with Geonhak, so why did a part of him ache upon seeing his crestfallen expression? Seoho couldn't help but hate himself more for being so pathetic—for feeling the slightest bit guilty for feeling a way that he was allowed to feel.

The harsh blow of Seoho's words hurt, and Geonhak wasn't sure how to recover from it. He wanted to speak up and explain everything, but no matter how much he sat in silence, he couldn't find the right words to say, much less form an actual sentence.

They fell into another half hour or so of dead silence, both watching the rain. It didn't look like it was going to stop anytime soon. Then when Geonhak gathered as much courage as he could, he chanced a glance at Seoho, finding him staring at the wet wood of the shack's porch, head resting in his arms that were folded overtop his bent knees. Seoho sported sagging dark bags underneath his eyes and his eyelids drooped from the weight of sleep before flying open again, only to repeat the same process. From the looks of it, he hadn't gotten a good night's rest.

Suddenly, Seoho spoke up again, voice soft and fragile. "The first night here, were you the one who tucked me into your bed? After game night?" Geonhak nodded. "I thought so. When I asked Young Jo hyung, he just gave me a look and didn't elaborate." Then Seoho said, "Why did you?"

"Because I wasn't going to let you sleep on the cold floor," Geonhak answered. "I wanted you to sleep comfortably, and I left the room, in case you didn't want to see me." Another beat of silence passed between them as Geonhak gave Seoho time to process his words. He finally felt as if he'd regained his tongue, and he could properly form words again, so he said, "That night, on the roof when you finally opened up to me, my emotions were so conflicted because I couldn't help but be joyful, but what you said also broke my heart. You're always letting us depend on you, but you seldom speak to us about how you feel, so when you finally came clean and expressed your emotions, I was happy. But I was also sad—because I hadn't realized sooner what you were going through, and it hurt that you thought of yourself that way."

Geonhak glanced at Seoho, waiting for him to intervene, but Seoho stayed silent, looking skeptical with the gears in his head turning, eyes distant. So Geonhak continued. "I'll admit—kissing you was me acting solely on what I wanted. It was highly insensitive of me to go about what I wanted without your consent, and I even hurt you." Geonhak watched as the gaze in Seoho's eyes hardened, and a new fire began blazing in his pupils. He wasn't sure how to continue from there. "But hyung, you have to understand that it's not what you think."

"Then what is it, exactly?" Seoho hissed, turning to face Geonhak, and Geonhak caught the waver in his voice like he was holding back tears. "You're starting to confuse me now. Stop beating around the bush and say what you're trying to say. If it's not what I think, then enlighten me on it instead of keeping me in the dark for so long."

"It's just—" Geonhak didn't know why he could feel himself shaking, but he could feel his whole torso trembling as he slowly approached what he could never bring himself to say. "Kissing you that night wasn't an act of pity to boost your spirits. I just couldn't cope with my desires anymore, so I foolishly acted upon them. I didn't know you had feelings for me, so it was considered a risk on my part, in case you rejected me." His own words resonated in his ears and Geonhak grimaced at how stupid he sounded.

If someone pulled Seoho's head apart and peered inside, all they would find was a seemingly bottomless void—a black abyss where all of Geonhak's words fell into, never to be seen again. Nothing Geonhak said was adding up in Seoho's head, but maybe it was because his head was too muddled. His mind was clouded by his own perspective and his anger towards both of them—he failed to see where Geonhak was going with any of this or what he was trying to imply. "I don't really understand—"

"I like you," Geonhak blurted out. There, he said it. The words had been a burden on his shoulders for the longest time, weighing him down and leaving him feeling distorted and unlike himself. He'd hoped that saying the words would relieve him of the extra weight, yet he felt tongue-tied again when Seoho's gaze, once again, grew distant as he let Geonhak's words sink in. "I kissed you because I like you. I wanted to comfort you and be your shoulder to lean on because I like you. I did everything because I like you, and even messed everything up because of that."

Up above, lightning struck, thunder crackling. The downpour decreased to a slow drizzle.

 _I like you, I like you, I like you_. Those three words flitted around in Seoho's head, bumping into every corner like the window's logo on the screensaver until each letter blended in with one another, and it no longer sounded like actual words anymore. He'd pined after Geonhak for years, and now he was learning that his feelings were returned. When Seoho ransacked his memory for every scenario featuring Geonhak, everything fell into place, clicking together, yet it also didn't. This was some sick dream, wasn't it? A dream to get his heart fluttering, only for him to startle awake in bed and realize everything had been in his head. But he could feel the tingling in his fingertips, the erratic clench and unclench of his heart that reminded him that he was awake, and the moment was real.

With every second that Seoho didn't reply, Geonhak grew worried. "Hyung—"

"Seoho! Geonhak!" In the distance, there was the frantic call of their names, and just like that, the moment shattered, bringing them both back to the real world. A small figure appeared through the rain, possessing an umbrella. It was Hwanwoong. Upon spotting them on the porch of the shack, Hwanwoong called to the others. "Guys, I found them!" Without waiting for the others, Hwanwoong ran up to them, dropping the umbrella the moment he made it to the porch. He dropped in front of Seoho and punched his arm. "What is wrong with you two? We searched for you two for hours. I gave you a map for a reason!"

"Sorry, I led us in the wrong direction," Geonhak said sheepishly. Hwanwoong glared at him before shaking his head in disappointment.

"Keonhee was about to send out a search party for you guys," Dongju said, wiping the raindrops off his sweater. "And honestly, I was down for it. But the others didn't want to make a big deal out of it and said that we should just search for you guys quietly—"

"And if we didn't find you guys by sundown, we would phone up the police," Young Jo sighed. Just the thought had him shuddering. 

Keonhee clapped his hands together cheerfully. "What a way to end our vacation, am I right? I, personally, think this was the highlight of our whole trip." Dongju elbowed him, and Keonhee winced before smacking Dongju as payback.

The atmosphere that lingered between Geonhak and Seoho didn't go unnoticed by any of them. One would've had to be really dense to overlook the pair's eyes darting everywhere but to one another. Geonhak was tense, every muscle in his body holding him back from looking at Seoho. And Seoho—he looked distant again, lost in thought. His mind felt like it was falling through a dark hole where everything was jumbled and scattered simultaneously, and he had yet to decide whether that was good or bad. 

Dongju huffed. "Well? Are we just going to stand here all day? I thought we were gonna eat." At the reminder of food, Keonhee started complaining that he was starving because it had been hours. When Seoho turned his phone back on, he realized that it had, indeed, been hours. The hunger he had long forgotten about returned and a part of him regretted not taking that apple from Geonhak when it was offered to him. 

~~~

It was well past 3 AM when ONEUS returned to their dorm, and Hwanwoong headed straight to his bedroom without washing up, collapsing on his bed and drifting off within seconds. For once, they didn't chastise him for not washing his face before bed. They were all too exhausted for that.

Their flight had been in the afternoon the day before, which meant that they needed to pack up and sign out of their hotel rooms before 11 AM so they could arrive earlier to the airport. That meant Dongju burst into each of their rooms early in the morning and shook them awake so they could have breakfast and go for a short walk before they had to leave. The flight back had felt shorter, but maybe that was because they'd all fallen asleep at some point on the plane, sleep knocking them out easily.

Hours after they'd aroused again, near midnight, Young Jo suggested they do a V Live to greet their fans and declare their return from their vacation. After five long days of adventure and lazing around and eating everything they could get their hands on, they missed their fans. Except, Young Jo refused to do it alone and insisted that someone join him.

Which was how Seoho and Geonhak found themselves dragged by Young Jo in front of the set-up camera in the meeting room of the company. Even when Seoho had declined with the excuse that he was tired and needed some sleep, Young Jo stared him down, giving him the look, and Seoho knew there was no way out of it. Geonhak, on the other hand, tagged along on his own free will. 

Two days before, when he'd finally confessed to Seoho, he'd thought they would finally clear things up with one another. But they'd been interrupted, and they hadn't been able to conclude their talk. He'd seen the members poking fun at Seoho, cornering him and interrogating him on what they did when they were alone, but Seoho had just laughed it off and said that nothing special had happened. The ones who'd anticipated a good answer more than anyone else had been Young Jo and Hwanwoong, so both their faces fell when they heard Seoho claim that nothing extraordinary had happened. Neither of them had the time to be alone, with all the packing and the rush to the flight, not to mention Geonhak couldn't sit next to Seoho again. 

So he took it upon him to join the V Live, just to interact with Seoho to confirm that he wasn't still mad at him. 

When the camera started rolling, Seoho grinned and waved. "Hi, To Moonies! Guess who's back!" From where he was monitoring the live on his phone, Seoho saw a lot of comments trickle in. "Did you miss us? Because we missed you guys a whole bunch."

And like every live they ever did, they fell into the fundamental topics—like what they did during the five days they were away. "When we went waterskiing, Young Jo hyung fell at the very beginning. The boat hadn't even started moving yet, and he fell over," Geonhak said, earning a slap to his shoulder, courtesy of Young Jo, who tried to deny it, stating that Geonhak was exaggerating a bit. 

Butting into the conversation, Seoho retaliated, "Geonhak, you say that as if you didn't stand on it for only two seconds before flying off, too. You're in no place to make fun of hyung." 

Geonhak was shocked in his spot. Despite the comments flooding in, telling them not to bicker, Geonhak couldn't find it in him to speak, but not because Seoho left him speechless with no room for any comeback. Seoho had finally acknowledged him—looked him in the eye, smiled, and made a quirky comment. Just like before. There was even the playful gleam in his eyes. He couldn't help but believe that this was Seoho's way of telling him he was forgiven, even if he didn't announce it verbally. Geonhak fought the smile that threatened to split his face.

Young Jo seemed to notice it, too, because he grinned while throwing not-so-subtle looks back and forth between them. He even nudged Geonhak under the table, withdrawing his hand before Seoho could catch on. 

Everything was going well. An hour into the live, Young Jo complained that he was hungry, even though it was past midnight, so they'd all ordered black bean noodles. It had shown up half an hour later. After that, Seoho barely spoke to Geonhak, occasionally making eye contact with him, but other than that, not much. But Geonhak didn't dwell on it too much because they'd still made progress, which meant Geonhak was a step closer to earning Seoho's trust and forgiveness. They laughed about how the younger three had made a mess on the first day because none of them had brought an extra change of clothes, yet they hadn't even thought twice about throwing themselves head-first into the tides, getting scolded shortly after. 

Everything had been going well.

Until Geonhak made the mistake of scrolling through the comments.

Taking a sip from his cola can, Geonhak swiped through the comments that poured in while monitoring themselves. And then he came across the comment. 

**_oneusprint_**

_is it just me, or did seoho gain a little weight?_

Geonhak felt a hard clench in his chest, and the grip he had on his phone tightened. He sneaked a glance at Seoho, praying that Seoho wouldn't glance at his phone or catch a glimpse of the comment. His hand shot out in an attempt to grab Seoho's phone from in front of him, but he wasn't fast enough. Luck was never on his side, and this time was no different. Geonhak watched as the smile that had formed on Seoho's face while listening to Young Jo rant froze in time, the twinkle in his eyes dulling out before completely going out—like a blown-out match. Flickering, and then gone. 

Seoho swore he was going to vomit. He could feel it—could feel the bubbling in the pit of his stomach that urged him to rush to the bathroom and empty his stomach. He stared at the comment until his vision split into two. He stared at it until his head spun, eyes blurring and then focusing once again on the comment. He felt hollow, heart sinking to the floor, and he just wanted to run away again. He wanted to hide. Crawl back into the cave he'd burrowed into and never come out again, far away from the eyes of everyone else. His tongue sat, heavy and dry, in his mouth.

But somehow, he managed to find his voice again, and it took every fibre in his being not to break down. He tugged on a smile. "It _does_ seem like I gained weight, doesn't it? Probably because of our trip to Italy."

Young Jo didn't suspect a thing. "We ate a lot in Milan. It's all Keonhee and Dongju's fault. They dragged us everywhere and wanted to try everything their eyes landed on. They ordered ten different dishes on the second day and somehow managed to finish all of them. I swear, they have, like, six stomachs packed inside of them."

The live just wasn't the same after that, the air too heavy and tense to the point where Young Jo caught on not too long after. The moment they ended the live, Seoho's smile slipped from his face and he fled the room, unable to tolerate the troubled coiling in his stomach any longer. 

Geonhak attempted to chase after him, only for Young Jo to grab his arm and halt him in his tracks. "Hey, what happened to Seoho? He seemed to be doing better at the start, and then he just..." He paused, and before Geonhak could give him any form of an answer, it clicked. "Wait, that comment—"

"You saw it, too?"

"Of course, I did. I was scrolling through the comments, too. I just didn't think he'd taken it to heart, considering how he'd smiled and joked about it after." Young Jo fell silent, eyebrows furrowed in confusion, waiting expectantly for an explanation from Geonhak. Frankly, Geonhak felt bad for leaving Young Jo in the dark, especially since he was the group's oldest member and wanted to help them in any way he could, but Geonhak was in no position to expose Seoho's problem. It wasn't his confession to make. 

"Sorry, hyung," Geonhak sighed, gently prying his arm out of Young Jo's grip. "But I really think I should go check on him."

Young Jo nodded. "I understand. Tell him that we're here for him if he wants to talk to us."

"Of course."

~~~

When Geonhak pushed the door to Seoho's bedroom open, he found him the way he'd expected him to be. He was curled up into a ball on the bottom bunk, facing the wall. The lights were, as usual, off. It oddly brought back a sense of Deja Vu, like he was brought back to that night over three weeks ago in Seoho's room, where he'd finally stuck a foot into the door that Seoho had been trying to shut. However, unlike that night, there was no moonlight streaming through the window, illuminating his silhouette. But Geonhak knew he was there, could feel his presence in the room. 

Seoho still hadn't sensed that Geonhak was there, too lost in thought and struggling to regulate his breathing and reduce his shaking. So when the bed sank with someone's weight and a pair of arms wrapped around his middle, back hugging him, Seoho startled.

"Hey, hey, it's just me," Geonhak soothed.

Seoho felt himself sag into Geonhak's chest before he stiffened again. He pushed at Geonhak's hands, attempting to free himself from his grasp. "You—You shouldn't be here right now—"

"Hyung, you're trembling... The comment from earlier—Don't take it to heart, please. I don't want to see you like this."

"You saw it?" Seoho felt the shame rise in him. It was humiliating enough that he'd reacted so strongly to such a seemingly harmless comment, but he was all the more ashamed to discover that Geonhak had noticed. He just couldn't help but become more conscious of himself after reading it. In the ocean of skepticism he'd thrown himself into, he still struggled to fight the current, the water wrapping around his legs and tugging him farther down. He'd tried to stay positive to prevent a simple comment from effecting him, but instead, he'd been reduced to shameful tremblings. 

When Seoho's shaking didn't subside in the slightest, Geonhak was at a loss for what to do. He wanted Seoho to know he had nothing to worry about, that there was nothing to be insecure about when he was breathtaking, but all he could do was hold Seoho closer to him, hoping that Seoho understood what he was trying to convey. But Seoho was every bit dense as he was stubborn. 

He was surprised Seoho still hadn't pushed him away, even though he'd attempted to.

Here, in Seoho's bed with his chest pressed against Seoho's back, they were finally alone with no one to disturb them. It was probably the wrong moment to bring up the topic they'd left incomplete from the other day. Seoho wasn't feeling well, and there was the risk that talking about the night on the roof and trying to continue their talk in the forest would only lead to further damage. But Geonhak needed to get it out of his system before he recoiled into his shell and never brought it up again.

"Hyung, that day in the forest—"

Seoho hadn't forgotten about that day or anything they'd discussed. Saying he hadn't had enough time to dwell on it was a big lie—he couldn't stop thinking about it. But his mind was still muddled, no longer coherent enough to tell left from right, up from down. That was the last thing he wanted to talk about at that moment. It felt so surreal as if Seoho had dreamt it all, and if he did, he wanted it to stay the way they'd left it. He was afraid of how Geonhak would finish it off—afraid that he'd say it wasn't real. He didn't want his bubble to burst again. "D-Don't, I don't wanna talk about that right now."

Seoho wasn't the only persistent one, though, because Geonhak interrupted him before he could continue. "No, look at me." When Seoho didn't stir from his spot, Geonhak took it upon him to turn Seoho around until they were facing each other. There was fear in Seoho's eyes—fear of rejection, fear of being pushed away. "Everything I said that day—I meant it. I really like you. I've liked you since shortly after we met, actually. I just wasn't sure if you returned my feelings, so I couldn't bring myself to tell you, and that night on the rooftop, I felt bold enough to act upon my feelings. That was wrong of me, but believe me when I say I never wanted to break your trust."

Hearing it for the second time, omitting the million times the words had echoed in his head, Seoho still couldn't believe it. "You're just saying that, right? To uplift my spirits and distract me fro—"

When Geonhak surged forward and swallowed Seoho's next words up by capturing his lips, Seoho couldn't bring himself to put up more of a fight. He surrendered to his desires and pressed closer, fireworks exploding behind his closed eyelids. When Geonhak's hand came up to cradle his jaw, Seoho gladly let him, even parted his lips for him. Geonhak was pleased to note that he still remembered the soft taste of Seoho's lips, the memory engraved in his head. It brought back the same feelings–those explosions of ecstasy and calm in his chest, unexpected but not unwanted. But this time was different because now, Seoho was aware of his feelings for him, and thus, he didn't push him away. Just let Geonhak press closer and closer until they were practically moulded into one another. 

Seoho had no strength to fight Geonhak. He'd never been capable of saying no, not when it was Geonhak. Every time he tried to crush his feelings for him and move on, Geonhak always gave him a reason to come crawling back desperately. That was just Geonhak's effect. Once Geonhak sunk his claws into someone, he was incapable of letting go, and they couldn't do anything except succumb to him. Seoho was no exception. If he could, he would've gotten over his feelings for Geonhak the moment he discovered he had feelings for him. But he couldn't, no matter how hard he tried because he was susceptible to Geonhak. 

It took every fibre in Seoho's being not to whine pathetically when Geonhak pulled back to look him in the eyes. There was a twinkle in Geonhak's eyes. "Well, this was my attempt at convincing you that my feelings are real. Are you convinced yet?"

There was still fear that lingered in Seoho's eyes, like a stamp, but a hint of playfulness layered over it. Unbeknownst to Seoho, there was a smile adorning his features. He pretended to think. "I think it'll take a little bit more convincing to get me fully on board."

Geonhak snickered but obliged nonetheless, connecting their lips once again. He felt Seoho smile against his lips, and he couldn't stop his own from blossoming. This was only the third time they'd ever kissed, but Geonhak could easily classify it as the best feeling, and nothing would ever top it. If he was permitted to, he would kiss Seoho for the rest of his life because kissing Seoho was a drug, and he'd already gotten addicted since the first kiss. Seoho himself was a drug, and Geonhak was intoxicated, the thrill of it pumping in his veins until he was sure he'd fly away. The only thing that kept him grounded was the feeling of Seoho in his arms.

In his arms, Seoho was still a little stiff, a little apprehensive, but Geonhak tried his best to wash it away. He'd do whatever it took to regain Seoho's full trust, and the first step to that was grabbing Seoho's hand to help him out of the currents of the ocean of doubt he was struggling to fight against. Geonhak needed Seoho to know he would always be behind him, like at that moment, and that he'd always been behind him. Even when Seoho had pushed him away, he was still behind him. He'd never left in the first place—if Seoho just looked back instead of pacing back and forth in his spot due to fear, he would know. 

At some point, Geonhak had rolled on top of Seoho, hands leaving their spot on Seoho's jaw to hold his waist and thumb at the skin through his shirt. Seoho's hands had found their home around Geonhak's shoulders, fingers mindlessly playing with Geonhak's soft blond hair. Seoho's chest tightened in the slightest with the need to come back up for air, and he felt like he'd been submerged into the water again, but in the best way possible. Contrary to what his lungs wanted, Seoho pulled Geonhak down farther. It was astounding how there was still space between them at that point.

And everything finally came flooding back to him. This moment was real, and he wasn't in a dream. He understood—that night on the rooftop wasn't a nightmare he wanted to forget, but a dream come true. He'd jumped recklessly into the ocean in hopes that he'd be able to swim, but instead, he'd found himself drowning. Or what he'd thought was drowning. But really, Seoho didn't drown because he didn't know how to swim; once he'd entered the unfamiliar territory, his mind had been clouded by all his fears and the worst possible outcomes that he forgot he had to tread and then start swimming. He hadn't given Geonhak enough time to grab his hand and pull him out of the water, and instead, he'd fought the currents alone and cowered away from Geonhak's outstretched hand. 

When Geonhak finally pulled away again, he couldn't help the goofy grin that stretched across his face. Seoho's lungs thanked him, and finally sucked in all the oxygen it had lost. Playfully, Seoho scratched the back of Geonhak's ear, and the latter hummed delightfully. Seoho giggled. "You're acting like a puppy."

"And you were acting needy," Geonhak countered with no actual malice in his tone. 

"No, I wasn't."

"Yes, you were."

"No, I wasn't."

"Want me to list out how exactly you were acting needy?" 

Seoho scowled and shoved Geonhak off of him, which was a slightly difficult task, considering the latter had the build of a brick wall. Geonhak plopped down next to him, laughing, but when it finally died down, he turned to Seoho again, all traces of playfulness leaving him. "Hyung, that comment—don't take it too much to heart. We all love you just the way you are." _I love you just the way you are._

Seoho blinked up at the ceiling before saying softly, "Let's not talk about that right now, Geonhak. I don't want to ruin my mood."

Geonhak thumbed at Seoho's cheek. "Okay, but I just wanted you to know that. Don't be afraid to tell me anything. I'm here to help you open up. I don't want you thinking you're a burden to others, especially not to me, got it? You can trust me."

Seoho turned his head to him, and he smiled. "Okay."

~~~

"I can't believe it took them _this_ long to become exclusive," Hwanwoong sighed from the couch, exasperated. "I swear, I thought I was going to get cavities from their disgustingly sweet eye-fucking."

"How much money you wanna bet they would've gotten together sooner if we had just locked them in a room together?" Keonhee said, eyes darting everywhere except the kitchen, where Geonhak and Seoho were preparing dinner.

The three youngest members all watched from the couch with disgusted faces as Geonhak wrapped his arms around Seoho's torso and snuggled into his back, burying his face in Seoho's neck. Dongju wrinkled his nose and grimaced. "I don't think I want to eat that food anymore. It's going to be infested with their disgusting love." He proceeded to gag when Geonhak kissed the side of Seoho's neck, the latter flinching and looking scandalized. 

Young Jo had just stepped out of the shower and smacked Dongju's leg with the towel he'd been using to dry his hair. "Come on, guys, leave them alone. They're cute."

"But, hyung _,_ look at them! They're getting all touchy with each other in the _kitchen_. We _eat_ there!"

"Technically, it's just our food that's there. We eat in the living room," Keonhee said.

"And what's your point?"

"What, would you rather them go back to silently pining and making googly-eyes at one another?" Young Jo said, to which Dongju fell silent. "I don't know about you, but I'd rather see this than see them with hearts in their eyes yet continue to be oblivious about one another's feelings."

"But now those heart eyes have increased tenfold," Hwanwoong wrinkled his nose before shrieking and frantically covering his eyes when Geonhak turned Seoho's face to the side to steal a chaste kiss from him, leaving Seoho flustered and beet red. "I think I'm with Dongju on this one. I don't know if I'll be able to eat that food."

Meanwhile, after picking up on bits and pieces of the conversation in the living room, Seoho, once again, grew self-conscious. He could feel the eyes boring into him again, and the only thing stopping him from tucking himself away into a corner was the iron grip Geonhak had on his waist, the latter practically glued to his back. Seoho weakly pushed at Geonhak's arms, to no avail. "Geonhak, they're all looking at us. No more of this."

"What's wrong with them looking?" Geonhak said, paying him no mind as he continued to nuzzle into Seoho's neck. He'd always been a pretty affectionate person—maybe not as much as Young Jo, but still high up there—but he'd become extremely touchy since they'd become official.

"I don't want them to judge," Seoho murmured.

"No one's judging us."

"You say that as if Hwanwoong isn't in our group."

"That's true—Hwanwoong _does_ judge everyone quite a bit."

"They're all glaring at us right now. If they're not judging, then why else would they continue staring at us?"

Traces of Seoho's insecurity were bubbling right back up to the surface, and Geonhak frowned. "Hey, hyung, listen to me. No one is going to say anything bad about you. And if they do, I'm here to defend you, you know that, right?" When Seoho didn't answer, Geonhak sighed. "Hyung, you trust me, don't you?"

Of course, Seoho did. He trusted Geonhak more than he trusted himself. He trusted him with his life; he'd blindly follow Geonhak into a volcano with his whole life in Geonhak's hands if that's what Geonhak wanted. When he voiced that, Geonhak laughed into the crook of his neck, the vibrations sending chills up Seoho's spine, and despite himself, he smiled. 

But their moment was shattered when Hwanwoong yelled, "Quite cuddling and hurry up! We're hungry!"

**Author's Note:**

> If you managed to get through this part, congrats :) I wasn't sure how to end it but if I kept going I'd start babbling.
> 
> Anyways, kudos and comments are greatly appreciated. Really, I think I cry a little every time I see a comment from someone because they never fail to make my day :(
> 
> Also, you guys can totally hit me up on twt @tinieseoho, but honestly, I don't really do anything except cry over the ONEUS members and scream over Geonhak's arms, but if you want to vibe with me, or you wanna talk, go for it :)


End file.
